We have been having some rough days and nights around here. The babies have been sick on and off since late December, early January and its been really hard on me emotionally and physically. Sofia never fully recovered from RSV or has gotten hit hard with virus after virus after virus. On Saturday, I took her to the ER. She was having projectile vomiting and it seemed as she was having a little bit of difficulty breathing. Luckily she was not admitted. She was observed for a few hours, had another chest x-ray, was given some nausea medication, and started her 4th round of prednisolone this year. At first, we thought it was more tummy related. Maybe a reaction to the bananas she had in the morning. But basically her coughing is so bad that she has a hard time keeping her milk down. We took her to her pediatrician today for her follow up and she found another ear infection, her 3rd or 4th one this year, antibiotics again which usually give her diarrhea. She was swabbed for a few viruses, including whooping cough. Her constant cough and wheeze are chronic lung disease to its fullest. She takes so much medication on a regular basis (pulmacort, albuterol, zantac). Today the doctor gave her a shot of steroids since she is having difficulty keeping the oral medication down. The boys also have a cough, not as bad, but enough to be on albuterol every 4 hours during the day and enough to disturb their sleep at night. The kiddos had started sleeping through the night. We were blessed with about 2 weeks of it. But we are now waking up to them coughing so much that they all need a breathing treatment. Then of course they realize they are hungry and are a bit excited from the albuterol making those late night/early morning wakings way too long. We visited a pulmonologist a couple of weeks ago who increased the dosage of the pulmacort hoping it would help. It hasn't and I'm being told there is not much else that can be done. They need to grow new lung tissue and that will happen with time. It might take a couple of years. In the mean time this might just be the way our life is and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. It pretty much sucks and it is a constant reminder they were born 3 1/2 months too early. The doctor tried to put things in perspective today. She said its pretty amazing that all three can keep up their oxygen saturation because most babies with chronic lung disease struggle. So yes we are lucky and we are blessed but sometimes I just need to let myself have a pity party and complain about how hard this is.
Raising triplets = hard
Raising triplets who were extremely premature and a five year old = super hard
I have been having many moments of helplessness and pure exhaustion. Moments I am not proud of, often feeling like I am failing in the mommy hood department, especially with Isabella. Lately I have been wishing my life had a bit more normalcy that didn't include breathing treatments, doctor appointments, soo many poopie diapers and throw up.
Until then, I'll keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.