Sunday, September 25, 2011

Crazy morning

Sofia crying...

That's what I felt like Thursday morning. 

It was a crazy start to our day, especially considering our night nanny came and I got almost 6 hours of sleep.  When I woke up Isabella, she immediately asked for water.  Such a simple request...but my mind starts thinking.... she is sick! And then she started complaining about wanting to throw up and not wanting to go to school, and on and on. 

As this is happening, time is ticking, time is being wasted.  There is only so much time we have to get this kindergartener out of the house.  I had a weird feeling, she was convincing me to let her stay home.  Daddy disagreed and felt strongly about it.   Then, I remembered, she just had the flu shot yesterday.  She is getting the flu from the shot. Holy smokes! I can't have her be sick!! The triplets will get sick!

 I was scheduled to volunteer at her school, and it's not like I can easily reschedule that.  I can't go and volunteer and not have her be there.  Can I? What would be the point?  In the back of my mind, I'm wondering, am I crazy?  I have 3 new little babies, is it fair to leave them behind with both grandmas?  I want to do it all, especially when I have the help.  Isabella will remember me volunteering, the babies will not remember the 2 hours I am away...

I'm glad I made it to her school.  Isabella was already feeling better.  She tends to want to conversate with me when I'm there.  She doesn't want to go to KidsCare today.  She is trying to talk to me about this while I'm running one of the centers.  I start to get frustrated!   Deep breaths... Then we move on to Kinder math.  Isabella, focus!! I know you can pay attention.  What happened to my girl? 

And then I have a moment, when the past 4 months flash infront of me.  I've been away, I spent our entire summer, Isabella's summer, in the hospital with the trio.  There were days I barely saw sunlight.  Mommy guilt...guilt sucks.  But I can only move forward and try hard to give her some mommy time now ....and be sure to practice writing her letters and numbers!!


  1. Angie...I totally know how you feel! When our girls were born and in the NICU our son was just 21 months old. Any time I was with him, I would kick myself for not being with the girls, and any time I was with the girls, I would kick myself for not being with him. Splitting yourself during that time is so hard, especially because of the stress of just comprehending what is happening to your life. I promise, a few months from now, you will all be settled and in a routine. Things with the babies will be easier. Your daughter will be more use to splitting her time, and you will get through!

  2. I miss you Sofia! You look so cute in your stylish outfit! :)