Wordless Wednesday~One, Two & Three!

Pictures taken late January 2012!

Lunch with Daddy

Have I mentioned how smart Big Sis is?

Last week, she came up with the idea that we should visit daddy at work before Grandma and Grandpa leave and so we did.  We headed out to Skywalker Ranch on Friday afternoon...we had a nice lunch, just the three of us and she loved every minute of it. Then it was her idea to take some pictures.

 Proudly wearing her Master Yoda shirt

 Mommy and Me pictures finally!!

Hosted by Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?

Flashback Friday-The Golden Gate Bridge

This past Wednesday, we headed to San Francisco once again...this time with the trio, the strollers, and a huge diaper bag that included six bottles, breast milk, formula, diapers and extra clothes.  The babies had their first follow up appointment with the NICU clinic.  More to come on the actual appointment later...
But below are some not so great pics of the Golden Gate Bridge that I took on that day. 

 As I grabbed my phone and started snapping away I realized how far I have come.  When we first moved to the North Bay, driving on that bridge was pretty exciting.  We just couldn't believe that this well known monument was less than an hour away from us.  With our pregnancy, everything changed.  Our trips to the city were no longer fun.  They were nerve wracking, intense, full of anticipation and often fear.

Then the babies were born, and leaving our three one pound babies behind in a medically fragile condition in a city that was 30 miles away from our house was the hardest thing we have ever done.  And so the commuting began.  The first three weeks, we did it together.  The hubby took time off since I couldn't drive because of the c-section.  Then, on most days, I did the trip solo.  I remember the first time I drove myself to the hospital.  I still felt like a zombie going on adrenaline. It was no longer exciting.  Yes, I was getting closer to my babies; but, those first few weeks, even couple of months I would have no idea what I would be walking into.  In the NICU, a lot can change in a matter of seconds, and there was usually about a 3 hour window from my 6 am phone call and my 9am arrival.  Being so far away from the babies resulted in a lot of anger towards this bridge.   I could not appreciate the beauty, the sunshine or much of anything.  How could I while I had three fragile and tiny babies with a tube down their throat fighting for every breath? I was in my own world. Somehow my anger brought me closer to God.  Not sure at what point in the 102 days of traveling back and forth, I decided to pray each time I crossed the bridge.  I prayed for the health of our babies, strength, patience, wisdom but most importantly I asked God to help me accept his Will, his Plan, to help me accept whatever our future may hold.   And once I did, the anger started to subdue.  So the fact that I was reaching for the camera and taking some pics brought me some sort of relief even a sense of peace.  Nine months later, I can breathe a little easier.  I'm starting to move forward and deal with lots of feelings that had to be avoided.  I was in survival mode, and survival mode for me resulted in numbness.  So many days, I felt so cold, I felt like I should feel more, I should cry more, I was somewhat detached; but I got through it.

I was feeling pretty good that morning.  I was a bit nervous about the appointment but overall calm.  Feeling pretty accomplished for getting out of the house by 8am! Then I saw the bridge and I was happy to be able to appreciate it.  And then when we pulled in to the hospital's parking garage everything changed... I think I had a mini panic attack! Just out of nowhere, I found myself where I was nine months ago. Will the flashbacks ever stop?

Bath time

When I'm on my own, bath time goes a little something like this....

 First we bathe the girls.  Sometimes Big Sis lets me take Sofie out and then she finishes by taking a shower and washing her hair.  I can't use her shampoo and conditioner in the same bath as Sofia's because it's not the baby kind.  However most times Big Sis likes to get out at the same time and we wash next time.

Then it's PJ time!

Then we undress the boys...

And get them in the bath...

Then more Pajama Time...

And some cuddles...

This looks quite peaceful here but for me, it is far from it.  I move very fast, you have to, I enjoy about 2 minutes or so with each kiddo.  When you have triplets you have to move fast.  All 4 bathed and dressed in an hour.  My back hurts each time and but feel so accomplished afterwards. 

This was about 3 weeks ago...I now have to come up with a new plan since Mr. Big Boy (aka Marcos) has decided not to stay still and kick and splash so much that I can no longer do the two at the same time.  Too scary and not safe.  I see bath seats in our future.

9 month update

A brief update...

We have all been sick!  Big sis had pneumonia last week and spent five days with an on and off fever, terrible headache, earache, and cough.  She stayed in her room for days.  Thank God she can be entertained by watching movies. All she wanted was some cuddle time.  She was lucky to get five minutes here and there because the trio has also been sick.  Though they did not swab for RSV, the doctor is 99% sure that this is what they have.  Possible that Sofia had not fully recovered from the first time.  Awful cough, lots of wheezing, nebulizer treatments and inhalers for everyone and 2nd round of prednisolone for Sofia.  Daddy was sick, grandparents are sick and of course now it's my turn.

 I've had my moments of weakness and moments of anger.  Why do things have to be so difficult? Why do I have to administer so much medicine to my precious babies? Haven't they been through enough? Why are they sick again? When will this end?  Is this what I have to look forward each winter?  

It is the saddest thing to see a baby cough so much that they end up throwing up.  And even more sad, Carlitos's voice sounds almost gone, meaning when he cries, I can't really hear him.  That sure does not help me sleep at night. Did I mention that Marcos also has a bad case of thrush?  It's almost gone but I've been giving him medicine for over 7 days now, having to swab his cheek four times a day.

RSV has been tough.  We were warned about it and have known that it can be deadly to a micropreemie.   The only place the babies go are doctors' offices.  We wash our hands and sanitize often.  I am doing the best I can.   I really am.  Big sis is constantly washing her hands and she does understand why and everything but she is five!  It's really tough to keep her away from the babies sometimes and having three babies makes it tough.  I can't keep my eyes on her at all times. Thank God for synagis.  According to the doctor, these are mild cases.  All three sat in the high 90's, meaning no hospitalization.  There has been concern for Sofia's rapid breathing.  Her respiratory rate is often  in the 60's and she may need to see a pulmonologist.

Today, the babies had their 9 month check up.  Of course they are developmentally behind...but each time I hear it, it gets to me.  It felt like I answered "no" for every question I was asked.  So to wrap up our long appointment, our doctor said they are lagging behind even for a 4 month old.  She did have some great things to say, they are smiling and laughing and squealing and grabbing and cooing and babbling and tracking...but their gross motor skills need a lot of work.  She didn't even think they should start solids yet until I told her that Sofia watches me eat like she wants some and that Marcos really looks like he enjoys eating his medicines.  Another thing that is worrisome is that Carlitos's weight gain has reached a plateau.  We have been so lucky in the gaining weight department that I'm kind of in denial.  Sofia now weighs more than him.  It's possible we may have to fortify again to add extra calories if he doesn't gain this month.

Their weights

Carlos: 12 lbs. 14 oz

Marcos: 14 lbs. 4 oz

Sofia: 13 lbs. 6 oz

A couple of milestones

Marcos has found his feet and can roll from his back to his tummy. 

Sofia is holding her bottle more and more and starting to sit unassisted for a second or two.  She has also been cluster feeding at night, eating very frequently from 6pm to 9pm, taking about 12 or 13 oz in small increments during those hours.  Tough on mama but she has slept from 9 to 6am two nights in a  row!! Big!!! Now her brothers need to get on that schedule.

We have the trio's first follow up appointment with the NICU clinic next week and I must admit that I am a bit nervous on what they will say but I am looking forward to seeing some of the doctors that were in the delivery room when they arrived.

Flashback Friday~Mystery baby

Love this pic!

Just not sure which of the three it is...

Maybe Sofia?

NICU brain...

Picture taken 7/14/2011

Valentine's Day-WW

A true Wordless Wednesday!

Hope your V-day was wonderful!