Flashback Friday~our identical boys

Here is a special Flashback! 

I haven't posted one in awhile...this doesn't mean that we don't have them.  

Everyday I think of just how tiny our three once were.    

Carlos and Marcos are identical twins, they shared a placenta, while Ms. Sofie had her very own and an individual sac.

Sharing a placenta put them at a very high risk for Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome.

Very early in the pregnancy, I underwent a procedure called Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) to rule out chromosomal abnormalities.  At the time, ultrasounds showed a concern for Baby B's (Marcos) bladder, it was enlarged.  We were so worried at the time and had no idea that the test will also confirm their sex.

I remember being asked on the phone if I wanted to know their sex and of course I said yes!

...my first thought? What will I do if there is three boys?!

So here they are...

First of many pics together...

The pics were taken by a special someone who wanted to make mama smile once she got home from the NICU.

What do I see in these pictures?
The NG-tube...Carlos's (left) thru his mouth and Marcos's thru his nose.
This allowed them to drink mama's milk every 3 hours.  Carlitos was our sickest of the three and was on TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) the longest.  He took what seemed forever to work his way up to full feeds. He patiently waited to receive breast milk, nurse and drink from a bottle. Perhaps that is why our identical boys have always had a weight difference.

What else do I see? Nothing on their face!! Our wonderful nurses were allowing them a little break from oxygen support.  This photo shoot took about 20 seconds and required a team of four, including RT (respiratory therapist)
And they are wearing clothes! A huge NICU milestone...

The pictures were taken on July 22, 2011.

They came home about a month later.

Happy Friday!
And Happy 10 years to us!
TEN years ago I married the most wonderful man, husband and father.
We just wanted one more...
and God blessed us with three and after getting through a high risk pregnancy, an almost 3 1/2 month NICU stay, sleep deprivation and exhaustion, we are stronger than ever!

Let's eat!

I sometimes feel like the triplets live in their table.  They are getting the hang of table foods and their menu today included ricotta pancakes, blueberries, yogurt, aidell's chicken hot dogs, peas, bananas, pasta wheels, carrots, watermelon and lots and lots of cherrios and puffs. We are still dealing with some texture issues but overall they have made a lot of progress.

 Less baby food (purees), more food, more mess!!!

Marcos after dinner making his new funny face!

Marcos loves food!  I think he will try anything and is quite fast at feeding himself when he is hungry.

And now pictures of Carlitos...notice the clip, he won't keep his bib on!!  

Carlos is still working on his pincer grasp, but it does not slow him down.  The advantage...he lets mama feed him more than the other two.

 Sofia was already in the tub. So far she has been the pickiest with foods, textures and new tastes.  

Maybe a little bit of big sis in her.  She likes to be in control and is very observant as to what goes in her mouth.  They all eat very differently which is fun to watch.
Most of the time its fun feeding three and a lot easier than feeding Isabella at this age and even now!

The trio is also eating:

ground turkey and beef, some chicken, carrots, peas, corn, beans, tofu, potatoes, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, edemame, egg yolk, toast, 

pears, peaches, grapes, cherries, 

mum mums, crackers

Suggestions on what else to try?

Happy Homecoming Carlitos!

Carlos,

You were free to come home to our family on August 27, 2011! What a happy day that was! 

Our Party of Six was finally together...outside of a hospital.

I think I will always have some guilt for not visiting you in the ICN for 3 entire days!! 

You see, Marcos and Sofia were free a few days before you....I had every intention of going back, but you brother and sister had other plans.

Please know I called the hospital A LOT! All your nurses can tell you I called at least once every shift.  

We were so lucky and blessed to have some very good nurses that loved and cared for you.  

Nurse Jackie, Nurse Isabel, Nurse Maritess, 

Nurse Janelle, Nurse Monica and Nurse Cynthia are just a few!

I was assured so many times that you were getting lots and lots of cuddles.  We all couldn't wait to see you, hold you, smell you, kiss you and finally take you home.  There was no way you were staying behind.  Your last 2 weeks you showed so much strength and determination.  You were my sickest little one but you fought hard! You surprised us all, coming home with no oxygen, and diaphragm paralysis?? what is that?!? Yay!! Happy times!  

Here we are a year later...First you learned to roll over then sit alone, then you learned how to move around on your bottom....then came the scooting around and crawling on one knee, and now you are full blown crawling! You are pulling up and standing and learning how to not get stuck standing up.  

You are waving and clapping and this past Saturday you were so excited for you snack that you said "Ka ke" (cracker).  Your official first word besides mamamama! 

You smile at everyone and are becoming quite the flirt.  You are so social and love to play with Marcos and Sofia and of course Isabella.  You seek their attention many times and you love to play with them, especially in the mornings when you all wake up.  I love hearing you laugh.  

You are also very good at playing on your own and you are currently my most independent little one. You are also quite sensitive when little sissy Sofie takes toys away. 

Oh that cry, when you cry, you cry LOUDLY.  

You are starting to take toys away from your siblings and we like it when you put up a good fight. 

You are a risk taker and your physical therapist thinks I'm in for trouble when you start walking and I just can't wait to see you take your first steps....

ummm, well maybe I can wait just a little bit! 

We love you!

Happy Late Homecoming Day!!

A little late, only because teething x 3 is no fun at all!

Sunday Fun Day!

Sunday was family fun day and full of many firsts. 

We were all in the car by 9:40 am. 

I didn't pump or put my make up in in car. Two of my not so favorite things to do. 

We headed to Howarth Park in Santa Rosa, we were there early and got a great parking spot. 

Our day included the trio's first ride down the slide on big sister's lap, our first train ride as a family and sofias first swing ride. 

Sofie and Carlos also rode the merry go round while big boy Marcos decided to take a nap. 

We enjoyed our picnic and watching Isabella run through the splash pad. 

Today was also the first time I wasn't worried about a schedule. 

We are getting really good at outings, they are so strategically planned and the schedule almost happens naturally.  And if someone decides not to follow it, then oh well, they somehow get back on it.  

The only bad thing about today...the battery on my phone died and I only got a few pictures.  Oh and I can't forget the stranger who offered to hold a triplet as we were getting settled in the train.  The triplet attention we get will soon need its own post!

Flashback Friday~PDA surgeries

June 24, 2011 was Day 38 in the NICU.

This was the day of the PDA surgery for Carlos and Sofia.

Marcos had to wait another week because he was getting over pneumonia.

About 10 days prior, Carlos was switched to the high frequency ventilator.  He was really sick.  A blood culture was taken to check for infections. Also, his x-rays began to show that his right lung was slightly elevated than his left.  Doctors were never really able to explain why or how this happened. The only explanation we got was that his right diaphragm did not function correctly.  Diaphragm paralysis.  It was something that we had to wait out and see if it resolved itself.  Luckily it did and a major surgery was avoided. Carlitos had the most difficulty getting off the ventilator. He failed extubation several times and was on the vent for about 8 weeks.  

Around the time of the surgery, Carlos was weighing around 910 grams while Sofia, my smallest, was 785 grams.  

The surgeons didn't want to operate when they were smaller.  

They were both receiving hydrocortisone to help treat their premature lungs.

Pictures from the morning of the surgery.  Scary times.  

Carlos getting prepped for surgery.

Praying with Sofia

Carlos

Post-op....Carlos

Sofia

Crawling Sofie, swimming class and more!

Last Thursday, turned out to be a happy and joyous day.  Sofia is crawling!! Now I know all micro preemie mamas can share my excitement! Watching them meet these milestones is truly amazing!  Every day is a miracle but when your baby spends almost 100 days in the hospital, it's hard not to let those negative thoughts in...those scary what if's?
But she is crawling!!!! At 13 months and a few days! Not bad, not bad at all.  Her physical therapist will be so happy.
Here she is.  Keep in mind this is right before bed time, she is trying to get the baby wipes.

I know her brothers are right behind her.

And then...well, I don't even want to think about what our days will be like.

Such a great and blessed day.

It didn't start off so positive. As a matter of fact,  I almost gave myself an anxiety attack.  Big Sis had her scheduled swim class and I had no help lined up. I usually have someone stay with the babies so I can take her or have someone take her for me. Well, things didn't work out yesterday which meant 1) She would miss her class or 2) I take all of them.  Of course I went for number 2.  I seriously was panicking. The attention that we sometimes get in our big triplet stroller is a bit much. I pictured myself maneuvering the stroller, moving lawn chairs and tables and having to hold doors open by myself.  The more I thought about it the more I worried.  What if Big Sis had to go to the bathroom? Not really able to run her in and out with the trio.  I was certain the stroller would fit through the double doors but definitely not thru the bathroom door.  Then there was the issue of their 3:30 bottle.  Class is at 3:30 as well... Do I feed before we go? Or an hour later? Or do it on the go? Luckily I called one of Big Sister's babysitter's to come with us and she was available. RELIEF! Our outing was a success.  Only Carlos took the early bottle. Sofia threw it at me.  And Marcos had no interest.  Our babysitter, I., was so helpful, holding doors, moving chairs and tables and unloading babies.  I was even able to take some video of big sis learning to swim.  Isabella was able to go in the hot tub and the babies happily sat in their stroller. Marcos and Sofie took their bottle at 3:45, they are my schedule babies for sure! We could have done without the wind.  Marcos's eyes get very teary outside, and yesterday Carlos also had some tears.  They both seemed a bit uncomfortable. This reminds me...we had an eye appointment on Monday.  Everything went well.  Their eyes are looking good after having had laser surgery due to ROP.  All are farsighted, which is how babies should be at their age.  I shared with the doctor my concern about Marcos's eye always tearing outside.  He suggested I massage Marcos's tear ducts.  There is a possibility that they are clogged and if this does not resolve itself then it is another procedure for my little guy.  AAAAGGGGGHHHH! Not what I wanted to hear, especially when massaging the corner of his eye is not going so well.  He fights it each time.

But for now here are some pics!

The trio watching sissy swim

 Marcos...have been trying to get a pic of his teeth all week!

 Teething x 3 deserves its own post!

 Carlitos's tooth

Wordless Wednesday~Beautiful eyes

Carlos

 Marcos

 Sofia

Flasback Friday~Birthday edition

We had a great day yesterday! I must have sang happy birthday a million times.  I think I spent all day taking pictures and video! Hopefully soon I can upload.  

It has been an emotional week...but in a good way. I thought I would have a harder time on their first birthday but I am feeling at peace with everything we have gone through. I have shed a few tears, especially when I look at this.  But a lot of times, they are happy tears.  Tears of joy, especially when I take a few seconds and just stare at my babies. They are so big and so long. They once fit on my chest, in between my breasts. They were so tiny and now when their heads are on my shoulders, their cute little feet touch my lap!

 

At times I am speechless, in complete amazement of how far they have come. 

I've been asking big sis if she remembers the day they were born and when she first saw them. Her responses include "They were tiny, their heads were as big as my fist, they were slimy and shiny but they were cute..."

I also asked my mom if she remembered what she thought when my water broke.  Luckily my parents were visiting from AZ.  When we left for the hospital around midnight my mom was also hopeful.  She thought I would stay in the hospital for sure but no one really thought that they would come so early.  When she got the call about my emergency C-section she tells me that her and my dad got on their knees and prayed.  

It was good that they were born while they were here...I don't even want to picture what we would have done if we would have been alone.  Can you imagine Isabella coming with us or me taking an ambulance by myself! Yikes. 

Here is Grandma meeting Carlitos for the first time

And now lots to do for our birthday party on Sunday!

This past week

Oh lil blog how I miss you.
Life has been keeping us busy.
I am down to pumping three times a day and usually while the babies are awake meaning very little computer time. 

A recap of our week....our week got off to a great start...

On Monday, FOUR NICU nurses came for a visit while I went and got an hour massage! I was in heaven and so grateful of their time and love for the trio. I even got a cup of coffee all by myself, this meant, I actually sat down and enjoyed SILENCE.  Tuesday, Carlos had his hearing test which showed fluid in one ear. Since this is the first time it has shown this, his pedi is requesting another test in a month or two hoping it resolves itself. It also looks like the doctors would like to move forward with tubes for Marcos and I'm hoping the ENT doctor and I stop playing phone tag this week. Carlitos also got his blood drawn and I hated every minute of it. I am not looking forward to taking the other two. I put it off as much as I could. Our doctor has been asking since before our 9 month check up.  This is the real thing.  I had to hold my little Carlos on my lap.  I was so nervous.  Of course I had to ask if the tech person had experience drawing blood on little guys.  "I am from the hospital.  I do this all the time."  I warned him that my little kiddo had very little veins.  Not happy to say that he did NOT seem to know what he was doing.  Carlos screamed the whole time.  I had to hold his little arms.  He needed to get 2 other techs to help.   They seemed so surprised at his strength.  I should have warned them.  They had to use both arms and then they say, "Not sure we got enough blood but we'll send it off and let you know if we need more."  Umm, no thank you!!
Wednesday, the babies and I ventured out and did some walking at the outlets. We met another mom there who also has triplets. It's so nice to have a friend nearby who gets the craziness we go through! Thursday-our home visitors from the early learning institute continue to be impressed with the trios progress. They walked in to find Sofia sitting unassisted. Her and Marcos are lasting a long time, and I couldn't be more proud. Carlos is also progressing. Isabella  had a dentist appointment that afternoon. The trio stayed behind while we took care of business and did some speedy Target shopping.  We were ecstatic to know she (again) has no cavities!!! Yay, Daddy!!!  We were a bit shocked to be honest.  In between caring for the trio and many sleepless nights, teeth brushing is the last thing on our minds.  I was also happy to talk to our dentist about the babies' teeth.  She seemed very knowledgeable on preemie teeth and all the problems they can have.  Our plan is to take them in as soon as the first tooth comes in.
Friday was physical therapy morning.  I love the individual sessions they each get but I do have to adjust one or 2 of the babies' schedule resulting in a little bit more work.  But I know it is so worth it.   We also had a very nice visit from a mom I recently met who is expecting three little ones.  We are so excited to have so many triplets near us and praying that she has a very long pregnancy.

And here we are today, Saturday...usual baby stuff.  We were successfully able to go down to four bottles a day, three solid meals and two naps.  Babies are still coughing, and Sofia's wheezing is back.  I was so bummed but praying that we will outgrow this soon.  She went 10 days symptom free.  We are spending about 2 1/2 hours per day doing nebulizer treatments of albuterol and pulmacort.  Not fun but I've become to accept this as part of our daily routine.  We have an even busier week ahead of us, lots to do for the party.  Yes, we are a week away from the big birthday bash.  Not really sure what I was thinking and when and how things will get done, but we are celebrating the crazy year we have had.  We are so excited.  Emotional days for sure.  A year ago today, I was hospitalized for preterm labor. Lots of painless contractions.  Medicines and steroids for the babies' lungs...Thanking God for the five additional days the babies had in mommy's belly.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you!

Waiting...

I had a couple of angry days last week.  

Angry about a few things.  Angry with the Man upstairs.

It doesn't happen very often, but it happens.

Just plain mad....mad that my babies were sick, mad that they came so early, mad that they cough and wheeze, mad that they have suffered so much.  Mad that we can't catch a break.  Mad that we can't get a good night's sleep.

Hating every nebulizer treatment we  do and every medicine I give.

Wishing life was a bit different, a bit more normal.  Wishing we could go outside.  Wishing I didn't have to stress about germs, RSV and re-hospitalization.

Questioning why? Why is this happening?  What have I done? My babies are innocent.

Anger then followed by guilt.  Yes, I know...my three babies are miracles.  

I have learned of so many other families dealing with so much more.  How can I be so weak?

Am I being ungrateful?

And then, while I was catching up on some blog reading... I found this poem:

Waiting

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,
The Master gently said, "Child you must wait!"

"Wait?  You say, wait!" my indignant reply,
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?  Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming Your Word."

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign,"

"And, Lord, You promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking!  I need a reply!"

Then quickly, softly, I learned of my fate.
Once again my Master replied, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair defeated and taut,
And I grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed  then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want - but you wouldn't know ME.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence were all you could see."

"You'd never experience the fullness of love,
As the peace of the Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart."

"The glow of my comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss!  if I lost what I'm doing in you!"

"So be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,

My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

Coincidence? I doubt it.

Deep breaths, followed by inner peace once again.

Thank you Sarah for sharing your journey.  Her blog can be found here.

Have I mentioned that Sofia's wheeze is gone? GONE!! She has not been this quiet since before Christmas!! I have seen major progress in her development.  She is rolling a LOT.  She is determined to get what she wants.  She is opening her mouth for solids.  She is drinking her bottle without coughing, without taking breaks, without gagging.  She is talking a lot.  She is loud.  A good loud.  

Thank you God.

11 month update

Happy 11 months babies! We love you so much!! Your smiles, laughter and cuddles make every sleepless night we have had so very worth it.  We are so proud of you!

What's new? Sofia is starting to sit without assistance and reach for things at the same time, tolerates tummy time very well but often is too busy looking at stuff so she does not see the need to roll even though she is capable of doing it.  She has started shaking her head and now does it back to us when we do it, Sofie, no, no, no, so very exciting!  She is very observant and reaches for everything.  It does not matter what it is or who has it, she tries really hard to get what she wants.  She has been found with sissy's stuff already, once she got a hold of Rapunzel, a doll almost as big as her, a play computer and her shoe!!! She is very aware of routine, and if something is off, she knows it. She knows when a new face is around and looks at new people with lots of uncertainty.  Definitely has stranger anxiety. She is the one who talks a lot more.  We can hear her saying ba, ba, ba, and da, da, da and overall, lots of talking.  Sofie has surprised me with her resistance to solids.  She takes a few bites but not too much.  She makes faces and sometimes gags, hoping this is because she has been sick on and off for awhile, even though I must admit I'm beginning to worry there may be some oral aversion/swallowing thing going on.
Unfortunately she has had an ear infection and early pneumonia, making her chronic wheeze even worse.  But she is a true fighter, on most days she is still smiling. Sofia weighed in at 15 lbs. 8 oz yesterday.

Marcos sat without any assistance for an entire minute this past weekend.  He loves movement and is very ticklish.  He loves to laugh and give hugs.  He is a roller and can no longer be left alone. He has bumped his head a couple of times. He continues to love food. He loves to jump in the jumparoo and is such a happy guy when he is feeling well, definitely a social butterfly.  He likes to bang stuff and make noise.  We have hear him say la, la, la and some cooing and talking.  Sometimes it sounds like he says "hi".  He has been wheezing and completed his 2nd round of oral steroids and has had a lot of difficulty sleeping at night due to being so congested.  We hope he gets past it soon.  Marcos is 15 lbs. 14 oz!!!

Carlos...he is definitely my most sensitive one.  If he doesn't like something, he will let you know.  He has a lot more work to do as far as his development with his gross motor skills.  He is still often fixated with putting things in his mouth and therefore does not explore as much as brother and sister.  But that's ok...our physical therapist says he is coming along just fine.  He loves food.  He really was the first one to "get" it and opens his mouth wide when he sees the spoon coming. His weight is 14 lbs. 7 oz.

All three have tried bananas, apples, pears, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, and avocados.  We will soon be experimenting with yogurt, mango, and green beans.